Empty Nesting & What To Do With Those Empty Bedrooms
Empty nesting is my reality now. We just moved the younger of our two kids across the country to his “big-boy” job & I miss him.
Once back home, I started thinking about the bedrooms of our two kids that have both now launched into adult life.
Our oldest son moved out seven years ago (not including college) and even though his bedroom no longer had furniture in it, everything from his high school years was still up on the walls. I got to work & packed it all up in same-sized, clear storage bins (56 quart) for easy stacking. I bought two sturdy, metal shelves to store all of the bins on, & slid a large label in the front of each bin so that we could easily see what the contents were.
As for the son who just moved, I’ll be leaving his bedroom mostly as is for now. But, this all caused me to wonder what other parents do with those bedrooms when their kids move out. So, I asked my friends on Facebook to respond to the following questions.
Did parents:
- Leave their kids’ bedrooms as is?
- Pack up their stuff & repurpose their bedroom?
- Do a little of both A & B?
Here are the answers I got:
Updated all three kid bedrooms to be guest rooms, with their input (I retain final creative control.) They each stay in their own rooms when they come home to visit but now they are spouse- and/or visitor-friendly as well.
Once I knew they were moved out and probably not coming home again to live, I made one bedroom into a guest room. The other bedroom has become a nursery ( crib, changing table, etc.) for our 3 grandsons who live close by.
We had just remodeled both of their bedrooms right before they moved out, letting them choose paint colors, etc. So after they left, we packed up things on dressers and desktops, but kept the rooms pretty close to the way they left them. Now when they come home for visits, they feel familiar and comfortable.
My husband has his own business and we work from home. So kids’ rooms were made into office space for us.
We have not made many changes to their space. With the age span, our family went right from the youngest as teens and grandkids with the older kids so our kids rooms now are frequently used by the grands and we love that. However, there is still the question of what to do with all the stuff left behind.
When both of my kids moved out, I sold my house and downsized to a condo that I’ve made into the perfect nest for me. I’ve decorated it in my favorite colors and textures. It’s the first time I’ve had a home that completely reflects my personality and tastes. It’s been really fun, and they enjoy visiting my warm and inviting place!
When my boys moved out I sold the house and rented a few years before buying my sweet little townhome. My kids didn’t have an issue with it but I know many do! Bottom line is – it’s your house, you get to decide!
When my youngest son moved out last year we repurposed his room as a guest bedroom (and part-time office). He’s a minimalist, so he didn’t really leave anything behind he wanted to keep. That made the decision to repurpose easy. Plus, now he has an “adult” room to stay in when he visits – or even if he moves back temporarily.
The answer is
The answer is that most parents repurposed their kids’ bedrooms into guest rooms. Some changed a little & some changed a lot. Some involved their kids in the changes. Others didn’t.
Outside of my survey, I also read that most people do repurpose their kids’ bedrooms into guest rooms. This is a way to combat the inevitable loneliness of empty nesting while maintaining a connection to their children through providing a bedroom where they can stay.
Other ways to repurpose the space is to create an/a:
- Office
- Hobby room (art, music, crafts, etc.)
- Multi-purpose room (working out, reading, meditation, etc.)
- Storage room
How To Proceed With Repurposing
- Don’t throw anything away. This is your kid’s stuff. It’s their choice to throw or keep. Instead, pack up everything & store it in the closet or along one wall in their bedroom.
- Paint & decorate with perhaps a new color palette. Gentle earthtones are always a good choice because they tend to be gender-neutral.
- Consider incorporating a new comforter or quilt, add a nightstand with a reading lamp, a dresser, & a comfy, upholstered chair if space allows.
- Add wall art sparingly & again the content should be gender-neutral.
I think eventually I’ll make our younger son’s bedroom into a guest bedroom but for now, he’s only been gone for a month & I need to just follow a friend’s advice:
We often rush through those tender “in-between” moments, but maybe it’s time to give everything some space. Clarity can emerge, but it’s frequently drowned out by our need to fill the void that comes with any form of loss. (italicize)
Empty nesting can be experienced as a loss for parents. In fact, Mayo Clinic defines this chapter as ENS or Empty Nest Syndrome. It’s not a diagnosis but a phenomenon where parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home. It’s common for parents to find letting go to be a painful experience — even though they encourage their children to be independent.
How To Navigate Empty Nesting Emotions
- Talk to your spouse, a trusted friend, or a family member (but not your kids) about your feelings.
- Join a club, like a book club or a fitness center.
- Plan a project that you’ve put off for years.
- Start a new hobby.
- Take a class.
- Travel.
- Volunteer.
Having purpose again is a key to being well & to spread your wings too!
